DEAR HARRIETTE: I will be 25 next year. I feel like I lost years 23 and 24 to the pandemic.
When I am in my mid-20s, I realize that I don’t feel like getting older. The thought of getting older scares me more than it should because it’s so inevitable.
It’s not that I want to take my own life or anything. It’s more like I’m stuck, like my life is on hold all the time.
I don’t really know what to do or how to move on. I stayed in my bed for almost two years. Every time I go outside I get nervous. How do I overcome this fear?
Fear of aging
LOVE AFRAID OF AGING: You can experience devastating side effects from being locked in for that long.
Getting older is part of life. While it can seem daunting, especially after such a long period of isolation, you can also try to change your perspective.
Turning 25 can be a wonderful experience to start with. It’s a turning point – you feel more like an adult and you probably have more responsibilities than you have in the past. You should also have some understanding of what you like about your life and what you might want to change. You can choose to look at the opportunities that lie ahead, rather than the dangers that await you.
Still you are right. The abrupt halt in your life due to pandemic shutdowns has disrupted your natural maturation process. Now it can feel like you are suddenly being thrown back out into the world. It can be tough.
You may want to see a psychologist to guide you through this time. Having a professional to guide you when you are feeling this delicate can be the perfect way to move on to a more public life. Get the help you need and do your best to enjoy the moment you are in.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I just found out that my boyfriend broke up with his ex because he cheated on her.
I’ve been asking him to tell me the truth about his past for months, and he finally told me yesterday.
Understandably, he was afraid to tell me the truth would put me off. I definitely feel differently now. I know this means there is a chance he could cheat on me too.
Is it right to judge him by his past?
DEALBREAKER: Continue the conversation. Tell him that you are worried about this news and that you need to know a little more. Find out what started the scam. Did you have trouble? Was he young and distracted? Does he feel real remorse? Had he ever cheated? Why should you believe that he won’t cheat on you?
People can learn from their mistakes. Give him credit for being honest with you. Say it out loud to see where your comfort level is. Make sure to keep in touch with him now. Try not to superimpose his past behavior on your current relationship.
Harriette Cole is a lifestyleist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative that helps people find access to their dreams and activate them. Questions can be sent to [email protected] or c / o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.