He says his bed is for the dogs, and I must sleep elsewhere

DEAR ABBY: About a year ago, I started a long-distance relationship with a widower. His wife died four years ago.

He told me he slept on the couch for a long time and got very little sleep after her death, because he couldn’t stand sleeping alone. He has two dogs and had never allowed them on the bed. He finally decided to try sleeping in the bed with the dogs and was then able to sleep.

I have visited him several times, and he doesn’t want to sleep with me.

We have discussed marriage. When I told him I want us to sleep together, he said he wants us to continue sleeping in separate rooms/beds after we are married. I don’t want that.

We have a great relationship except for this.

Am I being unreasonable? I feel like I’d be taking second place to his dogs, and I’m hurt that he would rather sleep with them. I told him how I feel, but he doesn’t want to compromise.


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