Missing Scotsman Allan Bryant’s mother, broken hearted, has said she will turn 32 tomorrow.
Marie Degan, 51, said she and her partner Allan Snr try to put on a show on his birthday but find it “harder and more difficult” every year.
Earlier this month, it was eight years since Allan, then 23, disappeared after spending one night in Glenrothes, Fife.
He was last seen leaving Styx nightclub in the early hours of November 3, 2013.
Despite huge searches and an ongoing search for missing persons, no trace of Allan was ever found.
Speaking to Record before his birthday tomorrow, Marie said: “It’s a difficult time for us as a family.
“I know I don’t even want to get out of bed tomorrow. I’ll probably just want to be alone and these are the days when I get really, really depressed.
“As if it could be worse than any other day.
“I’m just scared of tomorrow and just want to get it over with.
“We used to put balloons up outside of Styx, where he went missing, and we used to hang out with others around the house to celebrate the anniversary, but it’s too hard now.
“As time goes on, it gets more and more difficult.
“I think what he would be like. He would probably have settled down by now and maybe had a family, it’s so hard to see how his friends in the same age group are coping with their lives and you just wonder, ‘would have been Allan like that ? This?'”
In the weeks after Allan’s disappearance, Marie appealed to the police via a press conference before his 24th birthday.
The infatuated mother says it “felt like yesterday,” but struggles to come to terms with the fact that little progress has been made since then.
Marie added: “If I had known then that we would be in the same situation after eight years here, I would not have believed it.
“It actually feels like it was only yesterday, you just wonder where it has gone.
“It’s hard, it’s crazy to think that after all this time we’re still not really any further. I just don’t get it.”
Despite the family’s massive heartache, Marie said they had no choice but to “move on” and hope for a breakthrough in the case.
She added, “The police obviously know more than we do and I still hope we get answers, but we just have to go on and on every day and just hope.
“When the police call with an update, we always sit and wait. Unfortunately, there was no luck.”
If someone knows something, they can call anonymously and there are many ways to get in touch without revealing who they are.
“I just don’t know why nobody got in touch.
“We can’t give up. We just have to keep going.”
Yesterday, Allan’s dad Allan Senior went on Facebook praising the “amazing” Marie while saying no mother should go through what she’s got.
He said: “Marie is a great mother.
“Allan was our firstborn, our only son.
“No mother should be able to cope with such grief. Everything Marie wants – everything my family wants – is our son Allan at home.
“Until that happens, or if it ever happens, we will be in a limbo that no one should endure.
“Marie is your typical mom, our children mean everything to her and not knowing what happened to one of your children is the worst thing a mom can go through.
“Marie’s heart has been broken for the last eight years and yet she still finds the strength to remain strong for our two daughters Amy and Sophie.
“Living a life like this would be a challenge for everyone.
“The only thing Marie can’t hide is the sadness deep in her eyes as she constantly tries to hold back the tears I see in her eyes every day.
“It is said that your eyes are the gateway to your soul. Marie’s heart is not the only thing that is broken, her soul has also been destroyed.”
Anyone with information about Allan Bryant’s disappearance should contact the Scottish Police on 101.
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