Dear Annie: My 47-year-old son does nothing but lie in bed. Can I evict him?

Dear Annie: I have a 47 year old son who lives with me. He doesn’t pay rent and doesn’t help with the bills. He helps with some gardening and housekeeping, but ignores when I ask him to help with something I want. For example, he was unable to install a Dish network while I was away.

He lies in bed for weeks and months. He comes home from work around 4 p.m. and stays in bed until it is time to go to work the next day. He is absent from work an average of one day a week. Same for weekends; he often stays in bed the whole time. He even eats while lying in bed.

I asked him to move out, but he won’t. Is the eviction my only resource? I just want him out of the room – and out of bed. Do you have any suggestions? – Mother is fed up

Dear Fed Up: The first rule is that he cannot eat in bed. This is unsanitary and does not do your self-esteem any good. Since your adult child does not pay rent, you can give 30 day notice to cancel, which means they will be instructed to vacate the premises.

As a mother, you want to help your son help himself. But it is impossible. Staying in bed, missing work once a week, and ignoring your desires are all signs that something very serious might be going on with your son. Yes, he needs to know he can’t keep kidding, but why not run into a therapist’s office or speak to him yourself instead of taking legal action?

Dear Annie: This is a response to “tired of waiting” whose husband won’t stop procrastinating. One of the characteristic symptoms of ADHD is procrastination. Many people with ADHD have difficulty planning and performing things (called executive functions), forcing them to make a last-minute decision when there is no other choice. It may be worthwhile for the husband who is a chronic procrastinator to see a doctor trained in diagnosing ADHD. I hope her husband can get help as it benefits both of them. – A reader from Ohio

Dear Ohio Reader, Thank you for this helpful suggestion. Chronic procrastination can indeed be a sign of something more serious.

If “Tired of Waiting” is indeed suffering from ADHD, consulting a doctor is a critical first step. Your message is a good reminder for all readers that apparent laziness or insecurity can often be a sign of a deeper problem.

Send your questions to Annie Lane at [email protected].


Leave a Comment