Couple Has Been Together for 6 Years, Never Slept in the Same Bed

  • My partner and I sleep in separate rooms. We both cherish the space this gives us.
  • It has benefited both our personal and our professional lives.
  • It also makes us look forward to the morning when we see each other again.

My golden hour of creativity is 2 am No matter how much work I try to do in more-sociable hours, it’s always the time I spring awake with my mind alive and inspired.

My friends ask me if I find this annoying. The answer is not really. Though it’s not the most convenient time to be “in the zone,” I am at my most productive then because of how focused I am. And it’s paid dividends for my PR business.

People also ask me if my partner, Alex, finds this annoying. Again, the answer is no — not because he is an incredibly deep sleeper who doesn’t mind me flicking the light on and typing furiously, but because he is almost asleep in a different room, where he has slept for the six years we’ we’ve been together

Sleeping separately has helped our relationship

We have always preferred to sleep apart. I feel fortunate that we were confident enough to communicate this need to each other so early on. In my previous relationships, when I’d say I would like my own space, it wasn’t well received.

Hearing that Alex wasn’t offended and that he also wanted his own space was music to my ears.

As well as being great for my work life, our arrangement has been positive for our relationship.

We are almost always well rested. This seems simple, but I know from experience and from friends that this is not always the case when sharing a bedroom. Tiredness can lead to crabbiness and less patience with your partner.

And if we do have a disturbed night, we don’t get into any arguments about who was snoring or hogging the duvet, keeping the other up. Whatever the reason, it wasn’t each other.

Ideas flow in the early hours

We both work from home, and we’re often on different schedules. Having the freedom not to worry about one of us getting up earlier or going to bed later than the other has allowed us to flourish personally and professionally.

Interestingly, Alex’s golden hour is also 2 am Sometimes we bump into each other while working away on our own projects. I love when that happens — we touch base, share our ideas, then head off to work through everything. And after that, we get to collapse into bed and spread out to our heart’s content.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

We are an incredibly tight unit who value our own time and space and are confident enough in our relationship to be able to give ourselves what we really need.

When we had our baby, Celyn, we wondered whether the arrangement would continue to work or need adapting. It turns out it’s fantastic.

Alex usually helps me settle him in the evening, then he’ll go to bed and rest while I’m on call for night feedings. Because he’s well rested, Alex is then happy to get up early and come get Celyn, leaving me to get some uninterrupted sleep before I get up for the day.

We still spend evenings together enjoying each other’s company — then we say goodnight and head to our own rooms. While some people can’t get their heads around this, we genuinely feel excited in the morning knowing that we’ll get to see each other soon.

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